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… episode 4

by Ali on January 27, 2012

It’s that time again folks, the quest for true ever lasting love on a reality show … week 4

Firstly, I know I am a tad tardy in my recap, but I have a new game I like to play.  In lieu of helicopters in this year’s season (budget cuts made in the air transport and hair styling departments) I have found a new drinking game, whenever I roll or feel like rolling my eyes, I take a drink.  It’s taken me 4 days to watch the show all the way through, I pass out in a drunken coma 38 – 47 minutes in .. hiccup.

Tonight … Benji takes his gals to Park City, Utah!  For those ladies who signed on to the bachelor to see the world, they are a little disappointed, 4 weeks and still in the USA … budget cuts.  OH wait, sorry, what am I say, they signed on to find love not travel or fame … [eye roll] drink

Back to the show, Park City is beautiful.  Natural beauty just like are contestants [eye roll] drink.  

HELICOPTER … what!  [eye roll] drink

Chris H greets the ladies in the hotel, he is looking all outdoorsy and cute in his sweater ensemble. He gives them the low down, not everyone is getting a date, and pack your bags on the one-on-ones cause you might be kicked to the curb.  He drops the date card and saunters off to the bar.

Rachel is getting the first one-on-one.  Kacie, shows the first real signs of being unstable and a potential stalker, but in a loveable kinda way.

Rachel is worried her ‘communication’ issues will send her packing.  Time for the date, Ben shows up, Kacie is happy cause he knows she is there [eye roll] drink

HELICOPTER … what the hell is going on, someone must have made a hefty donation.

Rachel and Ben are on a outdoor back to nature date, a canoe, picnic and awkwardness galore.  When Rachel said she had communication issues, the girl was not kidding.  We’re not talking unable to express feeling, we’re just not talking.  [eye roll] drink .. just for the hell of it

I am wishing this date were over, there is no way she is getting a rose [eye roll] drink yeah, she gets a rose [eye roll] drink … [eye roll] drink 

Group Date Card: see if you are a great catch?

On the group date, Blakely, Fembot, Horsey, Kacie and a few others I’ve never seen before.

They go fishing.  Ben wants to do things he loves and see his future misses doing it to … my guess is this is the first and most likely last nature experience for 95% of these women.  No one is catching anything, Kacie is happy when Ben comes to help her … the connection … blah blah [eye roll] drink Fembot is not having any of this.  She reprograms herself to isolate pray and fish.  Program successfully completed.  Fembot catches fishes [eye roll] drink all the women and pissed.

Evening part – cue pool, alcohol and craziness!

Drinking for them, drinking for me.  Samantha chats to Benny, Benny tells her she is crazy and that’s why he has only invited her on group dates .. that and he is fearful for his life.  She starts to break down, and Ben sends her home.  WHOW …. didn’t see that coming,  actually thought that was a little rude Benny Whenny

The evening is getting interesting, Sam leaving heighten the level of crazy.  Now we are cooking.

Ben pulls Kacie away.   They are head over heels for each other, after one date on a reality show [eye roll] drink 

Kacie is sure she will get the rose because of how real their connection is.

But wait … Fembot has initiated the get the rose program.

Fembot whines and complains [this can’t possibly work] hmmm wait for it, wait … BEN FALLS FOR IT!  You can’t beat the computer.  Fembot is victorious and gets the rose [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink 

Fembot then hits the Charlie Sheen button on her control panel and launches into WINNING every 3 seconds.  AARRGGHHH I throw my empty bottle of Jack at the tv.

One-on-One Date: Jennifer

I’m beginning to think I should stop watching this show[eye roll] drink.  Jen and Ben rappel into a hole.  Finally a little FearFactor spin on the dates.  The drop into water and make out. Jen is scared. Ben is impressed.  They make out.

If nothing else, Benny Ben is getting his money worth of kisses. It rains.  They run.  It’s romantic.  Country music concert …. it just dawned on me why Bachelor/Bachelorette relationships don’t last.  The first night you are bored and can’t decided what do to, you say .. hey remember why you used to surprise me with a private concert? You never do that anymore … I’m calling People magazine and telling them we are done … then Chris Harrison to go for a beer.

Ben gives Jen the rose.

Rose Ceremony

More alcohol induced paranoia craziness.

Everyone hates Fembot except the other Kacie. Emily loses it and spills her despise to Ben, Ben is not impressed and warns Emily this will be your ticket home if you dis the robot.  A bucket load of bitchiness ensues.  Most of the women forget they are here to find love with Benny and channel all there emotions to hating each other.  Fembot is WINNING

The crew find Harrison and pull him off his bar stool.  Time for the roses

Emily survives and Monica is sent home.  She has her emotional breakdown in the limo over a guy she spent 3 minutes with. [eye roll] drink 

And that’s a rap!  Off to my AA meeting til next week in Puerto Rico


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