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… episode 5

by Ali on February 2, 2011

Chris arrives dressed in a great blue shirt, he has mended fences with wardrobe department.  The ladies are off to vegas!  They have one hour to pack … I don’t know if I could pack in one hour, oh how I would love this challenge!

In LV, BW tells all the ladies they will get a date this week.

First date card! Shawntel “Let’s end tonight with a bang!”

Shawntel is excited and nervous.

Brad tells her he’s got something to show her then drags her through the lobby to the upscale mall? He is taking her on a shopping spree date! OMG how pissed are the rest of the girls going to be? Brad tells Pretty Woman to buy everything she sees, literally everything.

Wait a second!  Who is paying for this????  Maybe they sold the Bachelor Helicopter on Ebay.

I think this date is a trick, a trap to see how greedy the girl is. She should buy one think then say she would like to get a coffee and hang with him.  Or say she wants the money to go to charity … or gamble it.  Yes, put $10,000 on number 7.  Getting carried away.  After buying everything in vegas, Brad sends Shawnte back to the suite to rub it in the other girls faces.  She heads up the escalator a hundred bags on each on.  I would marry her if she turned around at the top and said

“Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.”

Pretty woman arrives back, shows the girls her heist, the most awkward pretending to be happy for her, and not show how truly madly deeply jealous you are now ensues.  They want to gorge her eyes out.  This is the most jealous I have seen these girls, not caused by time with Braddie, but over a Fendi bag.   I can’t blame them, I would never get bored with the Fendi.

The most hated women in Vegas dresses for her date, new shoes, bag and dress, she is so excited she doesn’t bother doing her hair.

Brad and Pretty Woman walk through the hotel, she is wear ridiculous high heels.  Having experienced blister in SinCity,  I would be asking if we could stop at the next restaurant no matter what it was and eat there.  Big Mac?  Sound good.

They dine on the rooftop.   Her shoes are off, maybe for roof safety, but I bet she kicked those heels off as soon as they stopped filming.

PW tells BW about her job … undertaker.  This might be the best dinner conversation in Bachelor history, BW’s fascinated in that creepy can’t look away.  He can’t hold it together, they have to play out takes he is laughing so much.  Is this the first time he has laughed on the show???? I think it might be!

After much laughter, talk of vein drains and BW unable to eat or speak, they are treated to a firework show.  Meanwhile the other girls, peer out the window unable to see the fireworks, but knowing who it is for.  Okay … are they held captive in this room?  How crapola is that???  You go to Vegas and are locked in the room!  I would make a break for it.

She gets the rose.  I think he likes her, but she is not the one, he can’t afford the therapy to deal with her job.

Date card! Let’s go speed dating! Jackie, Emily, Lisa, Marissa, Alli, Chantal, Britt and Michelle. The two Ashley’s are on the dreaded two on one date. One Ashley is going home. They both cry. Not over BW, but losing each other, this should tell ya something.

Group date: NASCAR!

The dates definitely have a theme this time around, fearfactor!  Southern Belle Emily’s dead fiance was a NASCAR driver.  He died on this very track.  The group date goes something like this, Emily is extremely emotional, BW is super sympathic, both their hearts are breaking, while the other girls are getting annoyed at the amount of attention Southern Belle is getting.  Hands up who thinks the producers didn’t accidentally pick this sport and this track for her?

Everyone drives a car, it all works out, and BW is in love with Emily.  They could make a great made for TV movie from the last 5 minutes.

The group date continues along the normal path, cue alcohol and bikinis. BW pulls Southern Belle aside to make sure she is still okay, they have an awkward conversation about  filling her fiances boots.

Alli is jealous of Southern Belle for playing the dead fiance card and hogging all the attention.  She should be mad at BW.  She talks to BW, sorry, not talks, cries.  Then Chantal has her weepy moment. Men love situations like Emily where they can swoop in and save her, they don’t like a girl crying, sobbing to get attention. Between sobs, Chantal ‘accidently’ says ‘love’, Brad like it.  He chats to Crazy Michelle, she just wants to bitch about the other girls, he just wants to swap spit.

Southern Belle Emily gets the rose … Alli begins to plot her death

Time for the two on one date!  “Two girls, one rose, one stays, one goes”.

Ashley H

and Ashley S

This is to confusing, so for now, Ashley H will be called … hmmm … Sheryl 🙂

He takes the girls to Cirque du Soliel, one of them will have get to perform in the real show!  Woo Hoo, Elvis music.  Las Vegas and Elvis music.  I love it. The artistic director  tests the chemistry between Brad and the Ashleys. Ashley is really insecure, not just about the show but about relationships. Sheryl is much more confident.

Back at the hotel to captive women discuss which Ashley is coming back, it very confusing.

Braddie has to choose which girl he is going to perform with. Chemistry, teamwork, romance, he just doesn’t know what to do.  Where is Dr Drew when you need him.  I would love Dr D to fly in on a wire right now.

Braddie Waddie is struggling with this decision.  It weighs heavily on his heart and he cares deeply for both of them.  Brad, two women, and indecision … sound familiar?

Sheryl wins and Ashley S is sent packing, her bags and her are whisked away and dropped off in the middle of the desert.   Ashley screams and cries in the van for someone to save her, but no one hear her (I might be dramatizing slightly)

Sheryl quickly forgets she has lost her best friend forever and kisses Brad.

Brad is on the verge of a break down, so time for his weekly catch up with his therapist.

Cocktail Party

Shawntel, Southern Belle and Sheryl (Ashley H) are the chosen ones, everyone else is wacked out of their pretty little minds. Brad fresh from therapy swoops in.

Crazy Michelle throws Brad over her shoulder and locks him in a room, sort of. She talks, there are words, but the short version is she is Insane. I fear for someones life.  She is a sandwich short of a picnic.  Crazier than a bag of hammers.  Brad looks truly frightened, I think he is making hand signals to the crew to save him, but their bonus would go 4 figures if they could capture her strangling him.

Chris looking gooooood, arrives to freak Brad out.  I think Chris enjoys the panic Brad is feeling.  He probably goes for beers with the therapist after the final rose.

Time for the roses, Marissa and Lisa are out, maybe to the desert or a Super 8 off the strip.

Next week … Costa Rica!

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

kristen 02.03.11 at 8:38 am

How evil for the producers to do Nascar! Crazy Michelle is growing on me. I want her to make it to the end. My vote for top three: Southern Belle, Shawntal, Crazy Michelle. I love the funeral director. She just kept on eating dinner while talking about leakage. Is she complex enough for such a self-aware therapy goer such as Brad though?! I think she’s too normal for him.

Renee Herrell 02.04.11 at 10:51 am

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

You have made my week!!! I concur with you that the producers keep the girls confined in the one room in Vegas. My wild guess is that they are also feeding the girls copious amounts of alcohol and talking them ON to the ledge… so when Brad shows up they each have individual emotional break downs. Brad must be thinking this trick is some sort of Therapy Survivor style challenge with land minds of emotional chicks. Can’t wait to see what happens next week… but even more, read Ali’s commentary… *sigh*.

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