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From the category archives:

bachelor

… episode 6

by Ali on February 9, 2012

after episode 5, actually 12 minutes into episode 5 I had officially given up on the show.  I don’t even think I watched half of it.  So no recap.

This week I wasn’t going to watch at all.  Then 8pm came, bottle of vodka in hand, I decided to give it 15 minutes.  I wish I could tell you I turned it off, I didn’t.  This week’s show was a train wreck.  On the reality tv scale with one was an 8+.

I’m not doing a full recap, just my favourite and most awkward moments

Awkward

Kacie B and Ben’s dinner conversation.

Standing on the sidelines waiting for your turn to use Ben as a stripper pole dance with Ben

The camera man in Courtney’s room during the wait

The whole Casey situation

The cry

The kissing lesson

Favourite

Helicopter

Ben’s reaction to all things Courtney … or should I say little ben’s

The girls losing their shizz when Courtney went bikini less

Courtney prancing in the pool all alone while Ben talks to Jamie

Anything involving Chris Harrison

Jamie straddling Ben

 

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… episode 4

by Ali on January 27, 2012

It’s that time again folks, the quest for true ever lasting love on a reality show … week 4

Firstly, I know I am a tad tardy in my recap, but I have a new game I like to play.  In lieu of helicopters in this year’s season (budget cuts made in the air transport and hair styling departments) I have found a new drinking game, whenever I roll or feel like rolling my eyes, I take a drink.  It’s taken me 4 days to watch the show all the way through, I pass out in a drunken coma 38 – 47 minutes in .. hiccup.

Tonight … Benji takes his gals to Park City, Utah!  For those ladies who signed on to the bachelor to see the world, they are a little disappointed, 4 weeks and still in the USA … budget cuts.  OH wait, sorry, what am I say, they signed on to find love not travel or fame … [eye roll] drink

Back to the show, Park City is beautiful.  Natural beauty just like are contestants [eye roll] drink.  

HELICOPTER … what!  [eye roll] drink

Chris H greets the ladies in the hotel, he is looking all outdoorsy and cute in his sweater ensemble. He gives them the low down, not everyone is getting a date, and pack your bags on the one-on-ones cause you might be kicked to the curb.  He drops the date card and saunters off to the bar.

Rachel is getting the first one-on-one.  Kacie, shows the first real signs of being unstable and a potential stalker, but in a loveable kinda way.

Rachel is worried her ‘communication’ issues will send her packing.  Time for the date, Ben shows up, Kacie is happy cause he knows she is there [eye roll] drink

HELICOPTER … what the hell is going on, someone must have made a hefty donation.

Rachel and Ben are on a outdoor back to nature date, a canoe, picnic and awkwardness galore.  When Rachel said she had communication issues, the girl was not kidding.  We’re not talking unable to express feeling, we’re just not talking.  [eye roll] drink .. just for the hell of it

I am wishing this date were over, there is no way she is getting a rose [eye roll] drink yeah, she gets a rose [eye roll] drink … [eye roll] drink 

Group Date Card: see if you are a great catch?

On the group date, Blakely, Fembot, Horsey, Kacie and a few others I’ve never seen before.

They go fishing.  Ben wants to do things he loves and see his future misses doing it to … my guess is this is the first and most likely last nature experience for 95% of these women.  No one is catching anything, Kacie is happy when Ben comes to help her … the connection … blah blah [eye roll] drink Fembot is not having any of this.  She reprograms herself to isolate pray and fish.  Program successfully completed.  Fembot catches fishes [eye roll] drink all the women and pissed.

Evening part – cue pool, alcohol and craziness!

Drinking for them, drinking for me.  Samantha chats to Benny, Benny tells her she is crazy and that’s why he has only invited her on group dates .. that and he is fearful for his life.  She starts to break down, and Ben sends her home.  WHOW …. didn’t see that coming,  actually thought that was a little rude Benny Whenny

The evening is getting interesting, Sam leaving heighten the level of crazy.  Now we are cooking.

Ben pulls Kacie away.   They are head over heels for each other, after one date on a reality show [eye roll] drink 

Kacie is sure she will get the rose because of how real their connection is.

But wait … Fembot has initiated the get the rose program.

Fembot whines and complains [this can’t possibly work] hmmm wait for it, wait … BEN FALLS FOR IT!  You can’t beat the computer.  Fembot is victorious and gets the rose [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink [eye roll] drink 

Fembot then hits the Charlie Sheen button on her control panel and launches into WINNING every 3 seconds.  AARRGGHHH I throw my empty bottle of Jack at the tv.

One-on-One Date: Jennifer

I’m beginning to think I should stop watching this show[eye roll] drink.  Jen and Ben rappel into a hole.  Finally a little FearFactor spin on the dates.  The drop into water and make out. Jen is scared. Ben is impressed.  They make out.

If nothing else, Benny Ben is getting his money worth of kisses. It rains.  They run.  It’s romantic.  Country music concert …. it just dawned on me why Bachelor/Bachelorette relationships don’t last.  The first night you are bored and can’t decided what do to, you say .. hey remember why you used to surprise me with a private concert? You never do that anymore … I’m calling People magazine and telling them we are done … then Chris Harrison to go for a beer.

Ben gives Jen the rose.

Rose Ceremony

More alcohol induced paranoia craziness.

Everyone hates Fembot except the other Kacie. Emily loses it and spills her despise to Ben, Ben is not impressed and warns Emily this will be your ticket home if you dis the robot.  A bucket load of bitchiness ensues.  Most of the women forget they are here to find love with Benny and channel all there emotions to hating each other.  Fembot is WINNING

The crew find Harrison and pull him off his bar stool.  Time for the roses

Emily survives and Monica is sent home.  She has her emotional breakdown in the limo over a guy she spent 3 minutes with. [eye roll] drink 

And that’s a rap!  Off to my AA meeting til next week in Puerto Rico

 

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… episode 3

by Ali on January 18, 2012

This weeks recap is short and sweet. We are in San Fran, my favourite US city!

The theme of the first one on one date was Fear Factor.  Ben and Emily have to climb the Bay Bridge.  Breathtaking … and panic inducing if you have a fear of heights which Emily does. She panics, Ben comforts her, they make it to the top and fall madly in love.

What’s more interesting is how the got down from there.  Which they didn’t show, I’m guessing because they had to be air lifted out 🙂

On the Group Date, they close the street of San Fran, make snow and go skiing!  Obviously it’s too warm for a ski suit so everyone skis in their bikinis … priceless and would make a great beer commerical.

THEN SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENS …

Every season I want this to happen and this season it finally does … someone leaves cause they ain’t feeling it!  Brittany says see ya and goes home to granny.

Since Brittany went bye bye, Lindzi (horse girl) gets the one on one.  They have a great date, go for ice cream, open city hall with your own set of keys and have a private concert … they play a little David Gray on the piano yourself.  (loving the David Gray album!)

Cocktail Party

The funeral director from Brad’s season shows up, shocking Ben and freezing death stares across the faces of the women.  If looks really could kill, the show would be over, except Chris Harrison, who is safely sitting at a bar somewhere.

A girl faints, another sobs, but three are sent packing including the funeral director

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… episode 2

We are in Sonoma!  Wine, wine and more wine. Ben has invited all the ladies to his hometown right out of the gate.  Nice twist.  First one-on-one date goes to Kacie B. Their date starts in town centre, they play the piano, take things from the store without paying, then throw a parade in the […]

bachelor you know you want to read more

… the bachelor

The Bachelor is back!  For those of you not familiar with the shows concept, it’s a reality show about the quest for fame, I mean true love. I think the show has finally realized they have no chance what so ever of finding a love match that can last beyond 3 people magazine covers.  They […]

bachelor you know you want to read more

… no bachelor updates

I know there was I reason I didn’t start doing recaps for this season … I don’t care enough … or as Brad would say …  I really don’t, it breaks my heart. But obviously I am still watching. My money is on Emily, Southern Belle to take the win.  I give the relationship 12-16 […]

bachelor you know you want to read more

… episode 8

So this week I did watch.  I’ll be honest, after not subjecting myself to it last week, it was a struggle to do it this week.  I feel like I was given freedom, released without parole, and now they are sending me back to the big house. But it’s meet the family week … how […]

bachelor you know you want to read more

… episode 7

I know I know! Two weeks and no bachelor recaps.  The people of Bahrain and Yemen are taking to the streets in protest! Last week I didn’t watch it.  But based on what I have heard it went a little something like this.  Caribbean island.  He loves Emily, has a porno photo shoot with three […]

bachelor you know you want to read more

… episode 6

Tonight it’s therapy in Costal Rica! Opening scene … a helicopter!  It’s a big budget for Brad this time around. Brad has some tough decisions to make tonight.  He is emotionally invested.  It is all weighing very heavily on his heart.  Yeah yeah … helicopter! I foresee girls gone wild in Costa Rica or maybe […]

bachelor you know you want to read more

… episode 5

Chris arrives dressed in a great blue shirt, he has mended fences with wardrobe department.  The ladies are off to vegas!  They have one hour to pack … I don’t know if I could pack in one hour, oh how I would love this challenge! In LV, BW tells all the ladies they will get a date […]

bachelor you know you want to read more