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From the category archives:

the bachelorette

… the final rose

by Ali on August 2, 2010

it’s here, the big finale.  Will Ali, who left everything behind, gave up her job, her apartment, everything, everything find true love on a reality show?

The spoilers say she doesn’t pick either guy.  They’ve been saying that for weeks.  Last week, Chris the host never asked if ‘she was in love’ which is his go to question.  Does she find love?  Is she still messed up after Franks departure?

Let’s get the gardening shears out and prune the rose bush.

Ali is in paradise with the last two guys, Chris and Robo.

Right from the beginning there was a special connection with Robo, she has never felt that way, that quickly.  With Robo she feels protected, safe.  Hey she should get a tattoo. He makes me feel beautiful.  But after working

Her relationship with Chris is slower paced.  They are like friends who are starting to fall in love.  Chris makes me laugh, he has such good character, you can’t help but fall in love with him.  He would fit into my life.

So safe, protected and beautiful, or laughter and comfort?  Hmmm … depends on what part of your cycle you are in.  Days 1 -12 safe and beautiful, day 13 – 17 you ditch them both for the hot waiter and the resort, day 18 – 28 you’ll go laughter and comfort.

Time to meet Ali’s family (she didn’t give them up)

Robo is up!  Shows up in a cute blue plaid shirt and shorts, with what looks like a gift bag.

Ali’s mom, dad, sister and brother.

Robo swoons with her siblings over Ali, Ali swoons about Robo to her parents.

Robo and Ali’s mom .. ‘what can I do to always make her happy?’ … ‘Do what you are doing, you are making her happy’.  It goes well with mom.  Think mom is crushing a little on the latin lovah.

Robo and dad.  ”How do you feel about Ali?” …. “as soon as I made eye contact with her, there was something there.”  … “I want to make her happy”.  Robo asks for her dad’s blessing IF he should propose.

he gets the blessing … but does he get the girl?

Mom wants some salsa lessons!  Yeah she does.

There date ends.  Robo strolls away.  Ali has a look of complete and utter gaga love on her face.

Commercial break … EAT PRAY LOVE trailer … I can’t wait to see this movie.

Chris meets the parents.

Chris is sporting a white shirt and khaki shorts.  Chris gets the points for fashion.

I know Chris will make a great husband, I hope my family can see that too.

Robo was really nervous, Chris isn’t.

Chris and Ali’s family have lots in common.  Where they live, jobs.  Probably the way the producers are editing this, but it seems more natural interaction.

Ali and her mom dish on the Chris.  Mom only has wonderful things to say about Chris. He is kinda sounding like the good on paper guy, which never ends well for the guy.

Time to ask for Dad’s permission … Dad is the most serious member of the family, or maybe he is toying with the boys.   He is taking more of a lead with Chris, he seemed slightly uncomfortable with Robo.

Chris asks for Dad’s blessing.  I like Chris’s speech better.  I think I am bias.  Chris gets the blessing.

Family danced with Robo, and go swimming with Chris.

Date ends Chris walks away, Ali doesn’t have the same look on her face she did when Robo was leaving.

If I had to guess right now … I would say Robo is the guy.

Recap with the family … what do you think of the two guys.

Dad thinks Robo is more into her.  Sister thinks Chris is more into her.  Mom thinks both guys are great, they both love her, but it is up to Ali.  So no help from the fam but they do get an awesome vacation in Bora Bora.

Date with Robo …

Ali is wear a strange yellow and white off the shoulder translucent top.  I’m trying to think of a word to describe it.  Ugly.

They go jet skiing.  Swim with stingrays.  Ali’s freaks out around the stingrays, she obviously doesn’t want this to end like the crocodile hunter.

“Roberto is one of the sexiest man I have ever know.”

They picnic on the beach, swim in the rain.  Make out.

“Roberto could really be the one for me.  But I just don’t know”  oh … dam you.

… later that night

Robo lights candles, puts the champers on ice and a gift on the bed.

Ali who has given up everything to find love … arrives

She tells him that today with him was her most fun date ever. He leads her to the bedroom and gives her the gift.  A framed picture of them and a note he wrote on the back.

The moment I met you I knew my life would change, through this journey we have created memories I will cherish for a life time.  You inspire me to be a better man, for you, for the both of us.

She is all over him.  Luckily they are already on the bed … nicely played Robo.

Robo tells Ali he has definitely fallen in love with her.

“everything I came here to find, I have found with Roberto” … she stays the night.  Giddy up.

If Chris stands any chance he better bring out the big guns.

The next morning … I wonder if she’ll show up in the same clothes as last night?

knock at the door … things never go well when it starts with a knock at the door.

Ali seems a mess.  Mood has changed.

“You have all the qualities I want.”  ”But it doesn’t necessarily mean they are meant for each other” … “do you understand what I am saying?”

“I am in love with someone else.”

“I need to let you go now and not wait til tomorrow.”

Chris looks genuinely heart broken.

“Thank you for being honest”  … oh I want to hug him.  I bet they make him the next bachelor.

“Good luck tomorrow.”  He is an awesome guy, some girl, hopefully a great one is going to hit the jackpot with him.

As much as I love Chris and don’t like Ali’s decision, I appreciate what she just did.  She ended it as soon as she knew, and saved him going through the proposal.

“I wasn’t the one, and it really hurts”  … you know what I like most about him right now, he only has wonderful things to say about her.

A rainbow appears.  Tissues, where are the tissues

The rainbow is his mom telling him everything is going to be okay.

“I won’t change a dam thing, I just have to keep looking, keep looking.”

The day of the final rose.

“My heart is not possible to love more than one man, that’s why I had to let Chris go”

Another know at the door.  Robo answers.  It’s the jeweler.  Time to pick the ring.  There’s a ring with a yellow stone.  I think he should pick it.

The editors are playing up the self doubt.

Never mind, shower scene,  Robo topless.  I’ve completely forgotten what I am watching.

Ali gets ready. Robo looks incredibly handsome.  Love Ali’s dress. This is her best outfit so far.

He arrives via boat.

“I know Roberto is the man for me, I only hope he feels the same about me”

The host Chris greets Robo and shows him the way to Ali … way to earn your money tonight Chris H.

Robo looks happy to see her, and a little exhausted from the stairs.

“my heart is pounding right now” because of all the love or he needs to work on his cardio.

“will you marry me”  (not the yellow stone).

“YES”

Can you feel the love tonight from the Lion King plays while we see a film reel of all their dates.

“Roberto, will you accept this rose?” … but she says it in spanish.

She does look really happy.

… do you think it will last?

{ 1 comment }

… episode 8

by Ali on July 21, 2010

tonight’s episode is brought to you by trojan condoms.

I’m a little late in posting, but can’t wait to watch.  Let’s face it, this is the episode we’ve all been waiting for.  The one where she beds the boys and Frank breaks her heart.  Will he sleep with her first, before the “we need to talk” moment …

let’s find out.

She is about to take the journey of  a lifetime, and have SEX.

LA … Chris, he is starting to fall in love with Ali.  He is ready for love.  Roll the Ali and Chris recap film reel.  I love Chris.  He is like my Honda Civic.  It’s perfect for me.  It fits.  But I’ve had a Honda Civic, I should upgraded shouldn’t I?

Roberto, this is it we are down to the last 3, can’t wait to be the last one.  I have my families blessing.  We can’t keep our hands off each other. I never felt this way this quickly about anyone, it’s a little scary.  Robo is the Hyundai Tucson, I like it.  It looks great.  Everyone, would compliment it. But it might be too much car for me.

Frank, Ali and I have a connection that very few people have, it’s fun it’s sexy … it’s almost as good as my ex girlfriend.  Frank is my current car, that I definitely need to get rid of before it breaks down.

As my feeling for Ali grow, my feelings for my ex girlfriend have grown.  I have been an emotional reck.  It’s killing me that I have feeling for two girls.  He can’t get Nicole out of my head.   He is going to Chicago to see if he is still in love with Nicole. What da hell!  I want to kick the tires on my car.  He couldn’t have done this last week, when he was in Chicago.  This is what I hate about this show.  Exploitation of emotions.  It’s also the main reason I keep watching.

In Chicago …

They are going to drag this out.    On the up, F’ing Frank is making Canadian Wrestler dude look not so bad.  Score one for Canada.

“Hi” Frank  ”What is going on?” worst acting ever award goes to Nicole.  Okay an ex boyfriend arrives at your door, who you haven’t spoken to in months … with a camera crew … and we are meant to believe this is an unscripted surprise?

I think Frank needs therapy.

He is spilling his screwed up damaged heart.  She is sicken, she is shaking at the thought of him being close to another girl. Slap him!

He completes her.  That sounded so much better when Renee Zellweger said it to crazy Tom Cruise.

Why did they break up?  Nicole?  Focus, there must have been a reason why you broke up, FOCUS, then slap him!

They are all gooey eyed, hugging.

Today is exactly what I needed to know I am in love with Nicole.

?????

Everything I have done has lead to this moment.  A journey for love and a turkish rug on a reality show with Ali has made me fall in love with someone else.  Let’s see how he explains this one.

I’m pissed!  There better be a lot of making out scenes to come.  Tonight’s show has some serious redeeming to do.

Tahiti

Tahiti is the perfect place to fall in love … or get dumped.  Poor, poor, deluded Ali.

I am looking forward to my dates with these three guys.  It’s the over night dates, it’s a chance for me to see how we interact … SEX

Robo, is up first.

“I’m so happy” Ali … hang on to this moment girlfriend.

HELICOPTER! I don’t even care, I’m still mad.

They tour the island.  It’s unreal, beautiful.  There is a lagoon shaped like a heart. Too much.

They land, strip off and frolic in the heart shaped lagoon.  Voiceover of Ali explaining their amazing chemistry.

That night … Ali shows up for dinner in a terrible dress. It’s cute, hoochie, with bling.  All wrong.

Deep conversation about their relationship. Whatever.  Get on with it.  Fantasy Suite.

“I’m falling in love with you”  Robo, awesome, he said.  Now go do it.

He acts surprised at the Fantasy Suite card … whatever … this show is pissing me off.

I’ve regrouped.  I hope they have mind blowing all night long sex.

Morning After Ali picks up Chris.

She is taking him by water, in a boat.

They talk about how special his family is. She looks really happy, can’t tell whether it’s Chris or the afterglow.

They swim to the island.

“When the two of us are together I feel like I’m 12.” Chris.

They end the swim with a celebratory make out session.  This would make me more interested in triathlons.

Sunset.  Pearls.

“Our relationship is like a pearl, slow to develop, but given time you could end up with something beautiful.” Ali

She is looking forward to spending more time with him tonight … she is gagging to do him.

The night.

Her outfit is much more casual, less take me now, I forgot my underwear dress she wore with Robo. She is more comfortable with Chris, and feels she needs to vamp it up for Robo.  I should be a therapist.

Fantasy Suite Card … have they even had dinner yet?  He is shocked … has no one seen this show?

“I think…we should go,” Ali

The Fantasy Suite is AMAZING.  Oh, he just mentioned his mom again.  In the suite. Ali is not phased, she just wants to rip his clothes off.  You go girl.  Fingers crossed for wild crazy monkey sex.  I hope he makes the earth shake some much it registers on the Richter Scale.

Frank.  Here to ruin the day.  Break her heart.  And destroy the show.  I’m getting angry again.

He summons Chris Harrison, maybe he can help with this conversation he needs to have with Ali.

The film crew were there in Chicago. The film crew from the show.  This is no shock to Chris.  He is playing it with his usually fabulous pan face.  HIT HIM CHRIS!  DO IT!

“How do you think she is going to take this” Harrison, with a look that says, I can’t believe I am asking this turd this ridiculous question, but they are paying me mega bucks. Carry on.

Frank is playing overdramatic emotionally damaged.  Chris is playing, you are a moron stupid idiot but I can’t say it with the camera running.

“I think you need to tell her.”  Chris

“I need to tell her everything”  boo hoo Frank.

This has taken 10 minutes.  Really?  He wanted to romp in the fantasy suite before telling her. I know it!  He wanted Chris to tell him to do it.   This reality show is so ridiculous.  and still I watch.

To calm my rage, I am imagining Chris beating the bejus out of him the moment the cameras stopped rolling.  You know what would be awesome.  When Ali arrives, Frank has a honking black eye.

Here comes Ali.  I am head over heels for him.

“I am so glad this day is here” … let’s revisit this statement in 12 seconds.

“Ali I need to talk” …. “k” …. “sit down”

He chews her hand.

“What is going on?” Ali

“We had a awesome connection”  HAD … passed tense.

“blah, lies, blah, emotional crap, blah, ex girlfriend, blah, feelings, lies, loser”

“I was falling in love with you, I love her”  which is it dude.

Ali is crying.  This is horrible.

“If you were having these feelings, why didn’t you say something?”  Excellent question Ali.  NOW HIT HIM.

“I gave up everything to be here” Ali … “I gave up everything too.” ?weepy Frank … “Apparently not EVERYTHING!”  Ali … nice one.  NOW KICK HIM

She walks away crying.

More Frank.  Crying.  Babbling. Sobbing

Harrison talks with Ali on the beach.  She is mad.

More crap spewing from Frank.  He takes his suitcase and goes.  A rather large suitcase for a quick drop in break a heart conversation don’t ya think?

Harrison is like the best guy friend ever.  She should take him back to her room and have rebound guilt-free sex with him.

“He’s the biggest jerk I’ve ever know.” well put.

“I feel like there is something wrong with me.” … now she is going to be all screwed up.

How long before TMZ report Frank and Nicole have broken up?

Rose ceremony … big hug from Harrison.  She looks so sad.

She confesses she is scared and unsure now. She is going ahead with the rose ceremony, she needs to know that they want to accept the rose and want to be here.

Stupid television show.

Both guys accept the roses.

She’s happy.

She’s ready to move forward with the two remaining guys. They’re are going to Bora Bora, where her family is, and the boys will be meeting them.

I like the way she handled telling the guys about Asshole Frank. She could have played the sympathy card, but she didn’t. I give her points for that.  All she said was that Frank was gone, and it is what it is. Well done, Ali, and congrats for shagging both the guys.

What do you think of Frank?

Who should Ali pick?

Til next week …

{ 2 comments }

… episode 7

by Ali on July 12, 2010

Meet the family!

Back in the US of A and she is excited about meeting their families … are we?

Of course …

First stop Tampa … Roberto!

He takes her to the baseball field he used to play on, and gives her his old shirt.  Freshly washed and pressed.  He puts on his baseball uniform.  Looks good.

They have blurred out all the outfield advertising.  Companies have to pay the big bucks for that primetime, that’s how they pay for the helicopters.

He gives her a baseball card.

I’m digging sporty Roberto.

Robo is giving her the lowdown on his family, while she coos and giggles.

Roberto’s family

what does the dad think?  Time to get grilled.

What are your personal goals … “I want to own a business, I want to be a success”.  Dad wants to know if she was willing to sacrifice for Roberto.

The family breaks into some sultry salsa dancing.  Everyone is dancing.  This is exactly how I imagine an evening at home with JLo and her zombie husband would play out.  I love reality shows.

Next up Cape Cod … Chris

I would pick Chris just so I could live in Cape cod and play on the beach with him and his dog.

I love her boots, but they are completely inappropriate footwear choice for the beach.

He moved home to help take care of his mom before she died.  Now he lives there with his dad.  Which is totally acceptable, this is the only time I am giving a pass for a guy to be still living at home.

You can tell how close him and his dad our.  Ahhhhh.  He introduces him as his roommate.

They are a big hugging family.  They seem like great, fun, easygoing people.  I want to hang with them.

Love is the only reality … that’s his mom’s saying.

I think she fits in perfectly with Chris’s family.

A little time with dad …  dad sings Chris’s praises.  He thinks she is a keeper.

The sister-in-laws are a little more protective.  Worried about Chris and will they want to hang with this chick, the girls seem pretty close.

“If mom was here I wouldn’t have to tell her Ali is the one, she would just know, mom just knew stuff.” … something in my eye.

I give this date, home visit an 11 out of 10!

I want her to pick him right now and end the show this minute … hear that bachelorette producers … that would make awesome viewing.

SMOOCHES her face off.

Next up … Kirk

They head to Kirk’s dads house first.  His parents are divorced and don’t speak, even for a reality tv show.

“So, Ali would you like to see my basement?”  … yeah this is going to be great.

Taxidermist … I bring animals back to life … uhm  no, no, you don’t.

There is a freezer full of dead animals and some food.  I don’t even know what to say about any of this so far.

I miss Cape Cod.

He hasn’t brought any girls home … probably because he was scared they would be stuffed and mounted on the wall.

“Kirk’s dad is great, once I got passed his .. work.” Ali

I’m not feeling the whole Kirk Ali thing,  he is going, or staying home tonight.

Which means my final three prediction from episode 2 will be right … oh, I love to be right.

“Bringing a girl to meet my family has the potential to be awkward” Kirk … actually Kirk, after the basement nothing will be awkward.

Chicago with Frank

Will he be fun Frank, sulky Frank or paranoid Frank?  We will find out.

Fun Frank is here.  Boat tour of Chicago with beer … fabulous. Oh wait, paranoid, analytical Frank has showed up. She needs more beer.

I’ve read the spoilers, which makes me think the producers are playing this up, extra drama.

Frank’s family …

mom, dad, sister and her husband.

Another hugging family.  They have a great sense of humour.

Frank’s shirt makes him look like he has cleavage … I think it’s his sister’s, or mother’s or ex girlfriend’s shirt.  Definitely women’s apparel.  I’m not even paying attention to anything except his top.  This date is over for me.

Here are my thoughts, I think she likes Frank the most, I think Chris lives her the most.

The Rose Ceremony

First rose … Roberto

Second rose … Chris

Oh I love that she has left Frank dangling til the end.  She is toying with paranoid Frank … fun new game.

Final rose … Frank

Yip, Kirk is going home.

Til next week, in Tahiti and the fantasy suites!

{ 4 comments }

… episode 6

July 5, 2010

Let’s join our bachelorette in her quest to find true and everlasting love on a hype reality show with a success rate of  3%  … plus we also get the big interview with Jake and Vienna.  All the ingredients for a griping Monday night in.  Fingers crossed for a helicopter. In the previews at the [...]

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… episode 5

June 28, 2010

It’s that time again … Will Ali find love in Turkey? Let’s find out. Knock at the door … it’s the host Chris.  This can’t be good for Ali … but great for all us viewers, bring on the drama. “Can I talk to you?” no conversation ever goes well when it starts like this. [...]

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… episode 4

June 21, 2010

it’s that time again … tonight armed with my trusty bottle of Jack, I am also playing ‘Protect and guard your heart’ every time we hear these magic words or he flashes the tattoo I take a shot.  Feel free to play along. on the plane to Iceland Casey flashes the tat, shot #1 Discovery [...]

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… episode 3

June 14, 2010

it’s that time again for our weekly recap of the bachelorette.  Eleven guys remain.  Who will get a rose, who won’t … let’s find out. How far would you travel to fall in love … all expense paid? Pretty far New York She is getting a make over by instyle in New York.  jealous Ali [...]

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… episode 2

June 8, 2010

week 2 and already I am losing interest!  Story of my life. Actually I have a great reason for my tardiness in getting this weeks bachelorette recap up.  I was picking up the parental units from Toronto airport last night.  They have been living it up in Ireland for the past month.  By the time [...]

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… the bachelorette

May 31, 2010

she is blonde and called Ali, which in my world equates to practically perfect!  Since we are hair and name twins, I wonder if we have the same taste in men? Frank gets the first date.  I liked Frank right away, he’s got funky glasses, combat jacket and sense of humour.  I have high hopes [...]

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