Run, Live, Laugh

I read Eat, Pray, Love when it first came out.  I loved it.  Well most of it.  I had a deep connection to the character in the beginning of the book, devoured Italy … then lost interest in India.  I’ll be honest, I scanned the pages in the Pray section.  I almost gave up on the whole book during her silent period, wishing she actually would be.  Bali won me back.

I remember reading the first part of the book, where she leaves her marriage, has a breakdown on the bathroom floor and then straight into rebound relationship, I wondered if she knew me?   Had she stolen my story?  Or was this more common than I thought?

… my story, well that’s a whole other post, it’s an emotional week here in Ali-land, so you might just get it. But the short of the long is … there wasn’t a bathroom floor, I broke down nightly, in my car, outside the backdoor, not wanting to go in.

“The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

I left, with one suitcase and a few photos.  A couple days later I started dating B, a week later I moved in.  When that relationship inevitably ended, I was suddenly left without title, I wasn’t his wife or his girlfriend.

Who was I?

That’s why I related to Eat Pray Love, and that’s also where our stories took different paths.  Maybe if I had the bank roll to finance a year long, transcontinental spiritual journey, it would be more similar.  So instead of indulging in a carb fest, I did what any good irish gal living in England would do.  I drank.  A lot.

A few weeks ago, Heather mentioned the guy version … Drink Play F@#k.

I laughed, thinking she was joking.  Then googled it.  Sure enough, it’s a real book.  I bought it.

It’s about a man, whose wife leaves him for some guy called David.  When he realizes she is still taking money out of their joint account, he decides to empty the bank account, quit his job and blow all the years of sensibly saving on a year of living stupidly.

His first goal is to get drunk, and where else would you go to get drunk, but Ireland.  That’s when I knew I would love this book.  The second part of his journey is play, and where else to play but Vegas.  Finally getting laid in Thailand.

When I first started reading, I was expecting a much harsher story or more of a spoof on EPL, although the book is obviously inspired by EPL, he even makes witty reference* to it a few times, it is an entertaining read and an insight into the male side of the story**.  To be honest, I kinda loved his journey, it sounded like a blast, I wanted to be on it.

I think most women I know, who were suddenly single (no kids), had the money and time and were asked the question if you could go anywhere, do anything for a year what would you do?   I think they would pick Italy for the food, wine and men.  I think they would want to go on some kind of find yourself retreat, with a little yoga, but maybe not in India, and finally somewhere lush, tropical and beautiful, just like Bali.

Ask the same question to men, and I predict the majority would choose drinking, a stint in vegas and getting laid.

If you could go to 3 places, where would you go and what would you do?

* if you are a huge Gilbert fan you will probably won’t appreciate these interwoven criticisms

** they are planning a movie, Steve Carrel is rumoured to play the lead. Which in my opinion is wrong.  Someone suggested Vince Vaughn, that could work, what about Clooney? But really what women would leave Clooney for some guy called David?

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I met the Gster early this morning in the park to beat the heat that was breaking through the dawn layer of fog.   If you don’t know, the Gster is a world class organizer.  He mapped out a new route, recruited his beautiful and wonderful wife to be our personal waterstop.  She followed us all over the city with water, gatorade, coke, watermelon, pretezels and ice cold sponges.  Just for us.   Where ever we needed her, she was at our beck and call, and we only had to wake her once when she had fallen asleep in the car.  Thanks N!

The route was great.  I had no idea where we were going, how far we were in or how long we had left until the last 5k.  Just ran and talked.  Topics this morning included, but not limited to … movies, losers, cars, cravings, bus trips and parents.

We spent the first half of our run talking about parents, them getting older, changing.  It’s been an emotional weekend for me.  It’s probably day 27.  My parent are thinking of moving closer to me.  Well my dad is … he is talking of selling the house, buying a condo downtown, no gardening, lawn mowing, shoveling.  Something smaller, less work that they can leave for 3 months in the winter and travel south.  My mom isn’t quite on board.  She likes the grandeur of her home, work and all.

On Friday we went and looked at a couple condos.  Nothing great, nothing they would buy.  Afterwards, when they had left, I started piecing together conversations I have had with my dad over the last few months.   A mention of this, a reference to that.  None of them terribly meaningful, but together I started to see the bigger picture.  He is planning for the inevitable.  Ensuring my mom is somewhere she can manage if anything should happen.  Not that there is anything wrong, they are both in great health.  But I think he now sees the future in years not decades.

The reality of their mortality has made me incredibly emotional.

This mornings run made me stop thinking about the what if, when if, that have been filling my head.  Deep breaths in, filling me with possibilty of here and now, slowly exhaling all the if, ands, or buts.

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